Dear Babysitter

Dear Babysitter:


Thank you for agreeing to stay at our home and take care of our three labs Riley, JJ and Simon, as well as our cat, Garfunkle.  Yes, you read that right. 

Here are some tips on watching our kids while we take a well-deserved time away.

Riley will probably wake you up at 6:30 am to go outside. Leave the front door open – Simon and JJ will let themselves out in the morning. Leave the front door open all day and night long and they will let themselves out whenever they have to pee – but make sure Riley goes out. Sometimes he doesn’t feel like pushing open the door and will wait for when you wake up if he doesn’t wake you.

Riley usually sleeps on the quilt in the floor of our room- when its hot he sleeps on the floor in the big room. Be careful not to trip over him. It won’t wake him up, but you might hurt your toes.

JJ sleeps under my night table or on the loveseat in the living room. Depending on what he feels like that night, he may even want to catch an episode of “Law & Order: SVU.” I think he has a thing for Olivia.

Simon sleeps on the couch in the big room or wherever he feels like it, but may watch Law & Order with JJ, even though it annoys the hell out of JJ. Simon can’t stand the suspense and has to know what happens, especially if it’s a rerun and JJ has seen it.

Breakfast - Three scoops of food that’s in the bag near the stairs. Add a little teaspoon of broth in the frig to each bowl. JJ gets a few cookies crushed into his, too. He will sit and stare at you until you do, wondering what it will do to dismiss the help. He’s a Prima Dona.

Usually we give them meds with peanut butter in the morning, but you can skip that. If they are not eating breakfast ‘cos they didn’t get their peanut butter, you can give them a little spoonful. It will occupy Simon for an hour as he tries to get the peanut butter off his teeth.

Don’t be alarmed if JJ doesn’t eat right away or pretty much hangs back or sleeps. He marches to his own drummer and doesn’t do what the others do. He might be planning an attack for the intruders known as birds that fly by every now and then.

You don’t have to walk them or take them to the water. Make sure their water dishes are always full, the one in the kitchen, the one in the big room and two on the front deck. They drink a lot so keep a look out. Most of the water will land up on your feet or on the floor, but keep filling the bowls anyway.

From time to time you can give them a cookie or a chip (those white things you might trip on from time to time.) If you happen to go out or go to the lake and leave them in the yard, they can have a pig's ear. When people drive by, they usually bark, but they are getting better. Its good to check if someone is in the driveway, just in case. A lot of times the UPS or Fed Ex delivery person will give them something to eat too, so its good to check.

Sometimes they run around in the yard and get quite loud – barking and even sound like they are growling at each other – don’t be alarmed, they love each other and that’s how they play. You will always see their tails wagging – if for some reason a strange dog comes by you will see their tail point straight up – they go right into protection mode for themselves and us. [you]

PLEASE MAKE SURE THE GATES ARE ALWAYS PULLED CLOSED, or they will try to take a quick run to the lake, especially JJ. Simon will do what ever JJ does, so he will be right behind him. Riley sits and waits, shaking his head and muttering “kids!”

Dinner is at 5:00 p.m., but Simon will start pestering you at 4:30, just to make sure you don’t forget. Don’t let him bug you and tell him he has to wait, its not 5:00. Tell him he’s being a pain in the ass. He’s used to it and it won’t hurt his feelings.

Dinner is also three scoops and a little broth. They usually go back outside after dinner and take a big dump. Don’t worry about cleaning up poop. We are good about getting it everyday so there isn’t any residual left over.

Last call for them is around 9:00 pm – we say “Time for Night Time Pee Pee” [you have to say the words] and they will go tearing out the door from where ever they are in the house, barking and having a great time jumping around and on each other! We have no idea why they do this. It just started one day. I think they think its party time, but they do their business and will come back on the porch when ready. If its raining you might have to tell Riley to get off the porch (big baby) and make sure he does his business. Sometimes JJ will hang back, contemplating the world, look at the stars, or searching the perimeter for intruders. If you smell skunk, get them in the house FAST.

As far as Gar goes – he will moan from time to time, meowing as loud as I’ve ever heard a cat meow- but since you are a ‘stranger’ he might not even come home. We put the wet food on the floor in the kitchen for him, but if he’s not around, put it on the counter or the boys will eat it (usually Riley).

He won’t starve, there’s dry food and a water dish downstairs. If he does happen to show up and is a pain in the ass while you are sleeping, put him downstairs and close the door. You won’t hear his screams over the fans J He thinks he's really a dog and gets quite insulted when he is treated like a cat. If he decides to bring you a present [like a very much alive chipmunk or the head of a mouse] please leave it outside.

If is gets cold or is raining, you can shut the garage door, leaving a short opening at the bottom for the cat to go in and out. Hit the buzzer so it closes all the way and then hit it again so it goes up a short bit, then quickly hit it again. Pay attention, because he likes to play chicken.

We really appreciate your watching them, its like having kids all over again, trying to find the right babysitter – and we don’t like leaving them with strangers – have fun and enjoy the Lake! See you when we get back!


Love, Mom & Dad