Years ago I wrote a column about my kitchen calendar, and how it was the touchstone for my life. My children were all young when I first started jotting down dates, and it kept me organized and from going crazy. Everything from doctor’s appointments to major achievements (like successfully potty training) as well as noteworthy occasions (like the death of a much loved cat) were all scribbled across the white square.
Plastered onto the refrigerator and held in place with magnets, I was able to fit two months at a time. I didn’t realize until the kids started getting older that very rarely were any of the appointments for me, not even the doctor visits. I was guilty of one of the easiest things a mother does – putting ourselves last. And while there is something to be said for making sure the family is taken care, it is also important we make some Me Time as well.
Easier said than done, I know. I reasoned there would be time for me later, and I looked forward to the day with the anticipation of saving money in the bank. This is not to say I was a martyr in the making, or a long-suffering diva. I just knew that it was not my time yet. It was still time for “the Others.”
Fast forward several years and the kids are in college, in the service, or on their own. My calendar is bare and I struggled to find things in which to fill in the squares. Suddenly I realized that my time had come and I wasn’t ready. The “Others” were gone. I was so used to putting things to the side that I hadn’t prepared myself for when the moment finally arrived.
Sitting in my kitchen, one different from the one they had grown up in, I realized I had absolutely nothing to do, except my work. I thought to myself “This is not all there is, what God has intended for me” and I set about looking for what the next step should be. It didn’t take very long; with me, God is direct and intense – otherwise I don’t see it.
As is with life, the sparseness of the hours didn’t last for very long. My daughter survived Cancer, I got remarried, began writing for myself and published books, and started a new kind of family.
The calendar is now filled with dates for book signings, speaking engagements, my beloved’s comedy gigs, the veterinarian appointments, and oh yes, visits from the grandchildren. For I understand now that it was the right thing to do to put them first, back then; it is now okay to put myself first instead. I look forward to what is around the corner, but I will never regret the roads I left behind.
May we always continue to keep a healthy balance between “Us” and “the Others,” and knowing when the time is right, you will have done both.
Plastered onto the refrigerator and held in place with magnets, I was able to fit two months at a time. I didn’t realize until the kids started getting older that very rarely were any of the appointments for me, not even the doctor visits. I was guilty of one of the easiest things a mother does – putting ourselves last. And while there is something to be said for making sure the family is taken care, it is also important we make some Me Time as well.
Easier said than done, I know. I reasoned there would be time for me later, and I looked forward to the day with the anticipation of saving money in the bank. This is not to say I was a martyr in the making, or a long-suffering diva. I just knew that it was not my time yet. It was still time for “the Others.”
Fast forward several years and the kids are in college, in the service, or on their own. My calendar is bare and I struggled to find things in which to fill in the squares. Suddenly I realized that my time had come and I wasn’t ready. The “Others” were gone. I was so used to putting things to the side that I hadn’t prepared myself for when the moment finally arrived.
Sitting in my kitchen, one different from the one they had grown up in, I realized I had absolutely nothing to do, except my work. I thought to myself “This is not all there is, what God has intended for me” and I set about looking for what the next step should be. It didn’t take very long; with me, God is direct and intense – otherwise I don’t see it.
As is with life, the sparseness of the hours didn’t last for very long. My daughter survived Cancer, I got remarried, began writing for myself and published books, and started a new kind of family.
The calendar is now filled with dates for book signings, speaking engagements, my beloved’s comedy gigs, the veterinarian appointments, and oh yes, visits from the grandchildren. For I understand now that it was the right thing to do to put them first, back then; it is now okay to put myself first instead. I look forward to what is around the corner, but I will never regret the roads I left behind.
May we always continue to keep a healthy balance between “Us” and “the Others,” and knowing when the time is right, you will have done both.
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