Forgiveness

I’ve been thinking a lot about forgiveness lately, and what it really means.

It appears to be the ultimate test of character and faith to endure and survive such occurrences that make us question the very foundation of our character. We are who we are because of the circumstances we are thrown into, and how we survive those situations. In fact, it is not the situations themselves that form us, but how we react to them. Others observing these situations may even benefit from the struggle to overcome and understand them.

There have been two separate instances of two different people in my life of late that have filled me with such sorrow and resentment it seemed impossible to ever really let go of what fueled it. But it has been proven, once again, that sometimes we really don’t have as much control over the outcome as we think we might.

I know in my heart that I have already forgiven those who have asked for it. To deny such forgiveness gives me power over them, a power I really don’t want. I don’t want revenge or leverage; I don’t want to be holding all the cards or to have the last word. I want it to be left in the past and not kept in the corner like a wayward pet. I don’t want to take it out and shine it up every now and then, to refuel or recharge the anger, or renew the hurt associated with it. Bitterness is a seductive suitor who is no longer welcome at my house. Facing the interloper at eye level and staring them down makes us stronger than we ever thought we could be.

Some acts are truly despicable and can only be forgiven by our creator. Repeated actions are the symptoms of a larger problem and without remorse are not an act of repentance.

It may be one of the hardest gestures you will have to endure; but it is far better than the ultimate decision to harden our hearts to tolerance and understanding. To hold on to hatred and regret poisons the soul and depletes our good karma. It is a straight jacket from which we can never escape. 

We have the power to relieve the burden of those seeking the forgiveness to do so with the simplest of gestures. A genuine smile, a reassuring embrace, are all gifts we can give to those seeking it, as well as giving it to ourselves.

Jesus forgave; how can we not. It does not demean us or make us look weak. It strengthens our resolve to be better people, to forge ahead and make a future we can be proud of.

The past is the past because it has.





“He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.”

Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.