An Ailing Season of Hope

The events of the last few months have been quite a change from the normal. In May, my husband and I contemplated separating, and in June my mother died. One event was expected; the other was not.

Marriages go through trials and tests, maneuvering the proverbial up and down of rocky roads and landmines. Every marriage has its good times and bad times, and anyone who says they don’t disagree with their spouse is not being truthful. What one might consider merely a bump in the road, another might deem hopeless. I guess it all depends on your frame of mind at the time and what is acceptable in your world.

As with many families these past few years, our financial situation has changed, due to the recession and the effects of the economy. Jobs are scarce in this area, if at all. It definitely creates stress and can strain even the strongest of relationships. Five of my six children live out of state because of job opportunities, and now my husband has had to move to the other side of the country. It may as well be the other side of the world, and if it weren’t for the internet and Facebook, I would have called it quits. The distance will help us to appreciate what we have accomplished thus far, and how much further we have to go.

Every Spring season we’ve bought flowers and shrubs to add to the landscape of our life. A new hydrangea bush here, or a rose bush there, year by year we have created a beautiful garden of Eden for ourselves to enjoy and drink in, as we sit and listen to the waves of the lake.  We took them, like a lot of other things, for granted.

This year was different, as I was saying goodbye to my mother in ways only we would understand. Far away from home, I wasn't able to participate in the planting and the choosing of pretty flowers and bushes. There was no money to be spent on such extravagances, anyway. Ever the resourceful one, my husband merely threw wildflower seeds everywhere. He planted them in pots on the ground and on the railings, along the side of the fence, and in front of the entrance to our driveway.

Last year we were surprised with the discovery of pumpkins, popping up from errant seeds that blew our way. He left the pumpkins we had put out as a decoration simply disintegrate and return to the soil. Consequently, we have our own little pumpkin patch growing out front, another nice surprise that didn’t cost us a thing.

Seeing those pumpkin flowers reminded me of how easy it is to get caught up in the material and the chaos that can envelope us if we let it. Something so simple as pumpkin seeds can produce a feeling of peace and calmness; the reminder of a home long ago filled with trick or treaters and screams of delight. It happened without our tending to it, to make it work or produce what we wanted. It just was.

I will take a picture of it all and send it to him, commemorating his handiwork and perseverance. The mass spread of wildflowers, the sunflowers that now tower over the top of the house are all the result of his stick-to-it-ness and to never give up.  He has always thrived during a crisis.   The pumpkins, proud and orange, will soon greet everyone as they turn into our driveway, amongst the falling brown leaves and burnished bushes. Perhaps there will be enough that I can let the neighborhood kids pick their own, instead of having to go down to the corner market to buy them.

With every turn of the season, take the time to renew your life and create new traditions. We’ve weathered a storm that I didn’t think we’d survive, but have learned quickly how very hardy we really are. Taking joy in the simple things like pumpkin seeds are perhaps the best tonic for an ailing season.